Tipping

I could never understand why it was such a hassle when I was growing up. I would go out to dinner with my mother and stepfather and when the bill came, there was always a big discussion about what the tip should be. Even today, whenever I'm out with my wife, am always curious about what other people may be tipping and why. In my state, the mandated waitress wage is $2.63. Just so we're clear hear, let me say it again, two dollars and sixty three cents.
The accepted percentage for gratuity, depending on who you talk to, is somewhere between 15-20% leaning toward the higher end in higher cost of living areas such as cities etc. The determination is usually based upon service, rather than the quality of food, atmosphere etc. It should be about service but what are people really doing?
Recently, I had a discussion with a friend of mine that sat down in a rather prestigious restaurant in my area and ordered a rather pricey meal along with a very expensive bottle of wine. Our discussion ensued when I learned he basically stiffed the waitress because he did not include the wine in his calculation of the tip. This resulted in a significant loss of money on the part of the waiter. There was nothing wrong with the service and the meal was, "very good". However, he still felt the wine should not be included in his calculation. I asked him at what point would include the bottle of wine and he gave no answer. His answer would most certainly reveal that in fact, he stiffed the waiter. Unfortunately, I think many people stiff the waitstaff. Either knowingly or unknowingly, but they do stiff them.
Living in a college town, one would think high paid professors would be good tippers. You'd be wrong. According to some of the waitstaff I've talked to, they are some of the worst. Though leaving nothing as a tip is rare, it does happen. The larger problem seems to be more in the amount of the tip and the reason for it. My feeling is people are generally out of touch with how much waitstaff actually make as a base pay, thus leading to the arbitrary tipping practice that they use.
Here are some tips for tipping. Tip based upon the quality of service you get, not how good the meal tastes or whether or the type of lighting. Remember, you are tipping according to what falls under the control of the waitstaff. I think too many people don't have the courage to deal with problems that would be best handled through management and instead, take it out on the waiter or waitress. Here is how I handle it. If i get average service, I leave an average tip. If they are very attentive, take care of my needs and assure that everything meets my expectations, I tip 20% or more. It's not a lot considering what the base pay is. It's a good system and works well as long as we don't abuse it. Take care of your waitstaff and they will take care of you.